Havamal - A Cautionary Tale of Ale
by Jenni41
Summary: It's Hiccup's 18th Birthday. Too much ale leads to a very awkward situation for Hiccup, Astrid and Stoick.
1. Chapter 1

It was Hiccup's eighteenth birthday. He would have been happy to have the day carry on as any other but his father insisted on celebration.

A feast was held in the Great Hall for a generous gathering of Berk's higher citizens and Hiccup's friends from the academy. The mead, ale and wine were being passed around like water.

Hiccup didn't really enjoy the taste of alcoholic beverages or the dizzying way they made him feel. He preferred being in control of his senses. He tried his best to avoid drinking the stuff as much as possible but he was the guest of honour tonight. Every time he would free his hand of a drink, another would take its place. With each greeting, joke or toast, Hiccup scowled and swallowed the bitter brew down.

Despite his best intentions, he could feel the warmth of drunkenness crawl up his body and settle in his cheeks. The guests in the room felt oddly close and far away at the same time. He found himself a seat on the nearest bench and leaned back, his shoulders resting on the banquet table. He listened as his father and Gobber sang the old folk songs with gusto and watched Tuff Nut, Fish Legs, and Snotlout challenge each other to various feats such as arm wrestling and who could stand on one foot the longest.

"Hey, Hiccup? You in?" Snotlout asked him to participate in their latest challenge.

"I think I already have you beat. I stand on one foot all the time." Hiccup smirked and shook his prosthetic. With a smile on his face, he titled his head back and closed his eyes.

He wasn't sure how long he dozed but he was awoken by Astrid taking a seat beside him. She leaned her head on his shoulder. He could smell her hair. It smelled of soap, smoke and her natural sweetness. He felt himself grow warmer. She looked up at him. A devilish gleam twinkled in her big blue eyes, as she placed her hand on his thigh.

"I think I need some air," Hiccup swallowed. He took her by the hand and let her outside.

"Oh, I am proud of my boy, Gobber! He is going to make a good chief someday. I should start training him up. He'll be a man before we know it. Maybe he could even take on some of my work load. I could use more leisure time. This is great!" Stoick glowed as he observed the festivities around him. He was very pleased with himself."

"Where is the birthday boy?" Gobber asked, pouring himself another drink.

Stoick scanned the room for his tall thin heir.

"I wouldn't be surprised if he is outside chuking up his supper. He's had a few rounds and I am willing to bet he's a light weight," Gobber laughed.

Stoick grunted before growing concerned.

"Gobber is probably right. Hiccup probably can't handle his booze. How will handle the responsibility of being chief?" Stoick thought to himself.

"I should go check on him. I don't want the people of Berk to witness their future chief in such a compromised position," Stoick made his way to the door of the Great Hall.

The full moon was bright and lit up Berk and a calm blue. Stoick could not see anyone right outside the hall. He made his way to Hiccups chambers when he heard giggling coming from the stables.

"That doesn't sound like a yak," Stoick scowled.

He started to enter the barn quietly but then thought it might be better if he made noise to make his presence known. He coughed under his breath when he saw the young couple.

They didn't notice him at all. They were too busy taking turns pressing each other against the feed stall. Their cheeks and noses red, kisses deep and hungry, their hands memorizing each other's curves, dancing over dangerous places.

Stoick thanked Thor they were still dressed.

He coughed again, this time a little louder. They were so engrossed in each other they didn't even flinch.

"Ugh," Stoick looked around. Moonlight gleamed off the watering trough. Stoick grabbed a nearby bucket dunked it and splashed it over the young lovers.

They gasped and quickly parted. They looked from each other to the source of their soaking.

Hiccup paled. He thought he was going to be sick. Astrid's eyes fell to her feet. It took all her energy not to smirk. It was the last thing she wanted to do but she was quite drunk and her face didn't seem to want to communicate with her brain about how inappropriate a smirk might be right now. The last thing she wanted to do was disappoint Stoick. Though that was probably too late now.

Stoick was surprisingly stoic, "Hiccup. Astrid. My chambers, now!"

They followed Stoick, heads hung low, an uncomfortable silence and distance between them. Stoick lead the way. He was glad he was in front. He was having a hard time hiding a smirk of his own.


	2. Chapter 2

A Cautionary Tale of Ale Continued (Part 2)

It was the morning after Hiccup's 18th birthday. He awoke to a banging on the roof of his dwelling.

He opened one eye and then the other slowly. He yawned and clicked his tongue. It felt thick and hairy. Acid gathered in his throat. His stomach bubbled. He thought he might wretch.

The rattling on his roof only made the knocking in his brain worse.

"Not this morning, Toothless," Hiccup felt bad about not taking his best bud for their daily ride but there was no way in Hades he was getting on the back of dragon feeling like this.

"Ain't your dragon, Son. I just noticed you had a few loose shingles. Thought I better nail them down. I wouldn't want you to get soaked in the night."

Memories of the night before flashed before his mind's eye. Mortification and nausea settled in. Hiccup groaned.

He didn't mean to get carried away. He and Astrid had kissed and touched before, but it was always inhibited by the sobering fear of going too far or getting caught. He wasn't sure if it was the ale or the fervour of the moment but they definitely did not have their wits about them last night.

If he would have just heard his father enter the stable it would have saved everyone a heap of embarrassment.

"I don't know what I am going to do with the two of you."

Hiccup and Astrid settled in Stoick's chamber for the lecture they knew was coming. They were terribly uncomfortable, both physically from the way the cool autumn air caused their damp attire to stick to their skin and emotionally from the sobering effect of getting caught and having this conversation.

"I love you both but I have mind to wring your necks. You are normally two very intelligent people, who make me proud but what were you thinking?"

Hiccup dared to answer the hypothetical, "Obviously, we weren't, Sir, but…"

"Not a word out of you, Hiccup. But you're right. You weren't thinking. You never think. You just do. And you know what just doing gets you in? Trouble! The two of you are ALWAYS in trouble. By the looks of things, which is something I never want to see again, if I wouldn't have come looking for you, you might have ended up in worse trouble than getting caught in the stable by me.

And I'm not talking about the type of defy your parents and fly off to your near deaths trouble you usually get in to but the type of trouble where you become the parents!"

"Stoick, I think I am going to be sick," Astrid paled.

Stoick nodded his chin to give her permission to leave.

"You're lucky this kind of sickness will wear off by tomorrow afternoon, Sweet Heart." Stoick called after her.

At the sound of the door clicking shut and Astrid emptying the contents of her stomach distance, Stoick turned to Hiccup. He leaned down to put his face inches from Hiccup's. He placed a large forefinger on Hiccup's chest.

"You know, I love that lass like she was my own daughter. Some days I think I might even love her more than you. If you get her in the type of trouble that compromises her honour, I will have no qualms sacrificing you to the Gods. Do we have an understanding?" Stoick tapped his fist into his son's chest.

"Yes, Sir."

"Good. Now, drink some water and sleep the ale off. I'll see to it, Astrid makes it home safely."

"Yes, Sir. Thank-you Sir."

Stoick chuckled to himself as he watched his son stumble off to his own chamber, "Sometimes they need the fear of Thor for their own good."

"Come on. Let's go home, Astrid Dear. If you're good and don't retch on my boots, I won't tell your mother about this."


End file.
